Close Enough To Hear God Breathe...

I recently read a portion of “Close Enough To Hear God Breathe,” The Great Story of Divine Intimacy, by Greg Paul. The title really caught my attention. I have been working on studying scriptures and drawing closer to God, so I thought this book would be a good compliment to assist in my journey. I sadly didn’t really enjoy this book. I was only able to read about a quarter of it before putting it down. I found it to be a lot about Paul’s family and stories about their family life. which is great, but not exactly what I was looking for.

With that said, a few of the stories were touching. I did enjoy the story of Paul teaching his son how to use a hammer and nail. He speaks about building a house and teaching his son how to use a hammer and nail, all the while, during the time he is working, his son nails pieces of wood to the floor that he later tried to kick aside, but found the little boy had nailed them to the floor and he has to pry from the floor. He speaks about God in a sense stating that “when I do become aware of my own insufficiency-when the hammer is too heavy for me and slips off the nail- he does not sniff and say, You are a broken and pathetic thing, but I might choose to fix you anyway. His arm is around me, his hand supporting mine on the shaft of a wayward hammer, and I do not sense frustration, disappointment, or anger. I can hear a smile and the quiet delight in his voice.” That to me is a powerful statement showing that God is always directing that hammer and if we slip and fall, he will be there to catch us.

*I received this book for free in exchange for my unbiased review through the Thomas Nelson BookSneeze Program.

A changed life.

My life has been changed. September 17th will go down in history as the greatest day of my life thus far. I publicly committed my life to Christ through baptism. Not much was going through my head during the actual baptism because it lasted about four or five minutes, but before and after were memorable moments.

I became very emotional before the baptism ceremony started because my family came to support me and they played one of my favorite songs and I think I was a little nervous about the logistics of the "dunk." (Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall...bend your knees, plug your nose... yeah forgot about that last part and held back the coughing as I hugged one of the pastors after pulling me from the water.) Afterwards, I felt clean. Physically clean, mentally clean, emotionally clean....it was very freeing and encouraging. The shames and guilt of my past are gone and I am committed to living my life each day to please God. Of course we all sin, but from that day forward will be a marker. I wasn't at all expecting to get any type of card or gift. I got a very special card from a friend, cards from family, special voice mails and text messages, books (one from Grandma and one from my sweet and fellow Christian neighbors that have been married for 30+ years), lunch with my mom and brothers and a beautiful cross for my house. These are all items that I will look at continuously and remember my special day.

An unexpected family crisis happened that day and the day following. I committed my life to Christ and that does not make Satan happy. It was pointed out to me that Satan knows exactly where to hit us and make it hurt...make it hurt hard. Well, he can stay down there where he's at..and I told him that! I've decided nothing is going to take away from my special day. What happened was a piece of the day, a piece I will never forget, but most importantly, it will be known as the day I committed my life to Christ and that I am forever his.

fresh-brewed life

Nicole Johnson does not disappoint when it comes to “fresh-brewed life.” I found it to be honest and persuading in the fact that we should be truthful to ourselves. When writing in a journal, don’t say things like “I’m tired, but I’m looking forward to this day.” Johnson notes, “Why be polite in my journal?” Who is going to see this? No one but me, so no sense in not telling the truth to my journal. I find this is a bit like having a conversation with God. He already knows what you’re thinking, so you might as well just come out and tell him what you’re thinking--because he knows what’s in your heart already! I really like the fact that Johnson notes to spend time with yourself. She encourages having your own ‘date.’ Spending an hour with your journal and your bible at a coffee shop or a park, etc. This will allow you to really take the time to write an honest journal entry and just spending time studying God’s word. I like the fact that Johnson sees journaling as free counseling. In a way it allows us to put our words on paper and work out our thoughts in a logical and healing way. Johnson describes “fresh-brewed life” as a wake up to your soul, much like a good cup of coffee. It was an enjoyable read, one that I will definitely keep to read from time to time. It was soothing and memorable.

*I received this book for free in exchange for my unbiased review through the Thomas Nelson BookSneeze Program.

Glory to God Forever!

It's official. September 17th, 2011, I will be baptized. My life will forever be changed. I've waited for this day for a very long time and I'm very happy and excited about this decision. It's been a long time coming... I've embraced churches, run away from them...but I've finally found my church home and I'm committed now more than ever to Christ.

I've struggled in the past with my appearance, my weight, my eczema, my broad shoulders, my "softball arms and thighs" but I'm coming into my own and have really realized that God created me as I am and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Let's face it... pitchers HAVE to have strong legs and thighs...and that's the way the cookie crumbles. ;) No shame here.

I've accepted God as my first love. Which was pointed out to me by my good friend Carey. As I vented to her about wanting to have a stable job and life, a husband and children.... she pointed this out to me (that God should be our first love) and it was so painfully obvious.... I can't believe I never realized it sooner. God sent his only son to die for my sins. For me. For you. The veil has been removed, (no pun intended) and I was quick to diminish my desire for the moment (for having the perfect job or boyfriend,etc...) I have fallen in love with God, it's a love I know will last forever.

Of course, some days are struggles and some are not, but I know I will always get through. The power of prayer is quite tremendous and astonishing. I've learned to be completely honest with the Lord and thanking him and letting him know what I need and asking for guidance. After all, he already knows what I'm about to say, no sense in not saying it!

I cannot wait for September 17th!

The perfect song for the moment is this: Glory to God Forever

Before the world was made
Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now you're reigning still

Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing

Glory to God
Glory to God
Glory to God forever

Creator God you gave
Me breath so I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of our King

Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours

AMEN!

Praying for the Indiana State Fair

"I guess it's been awhile, since I've seen the sunshine, since I have smiled. And me, whose so well versed, feelin' so damn empty, is at a loss for words, prayin' for the day when there is no more rain. I don't wanna do anything but cry. "

Somehow those words felt right to say at the moment. Of course, they are not my own, they're song lyrics. Depending on my mood, that's usually the song I'll listening to while I'm writing. Right now my heart is aching for the tragic incident that happened this past weekend at the Indiana State Fair. Lives lost, over forty people seriously injured, a destroyed venue and thousands of heart broken people.

The other day while driving I was thinking to myself, "what can I do about this situation?" There's really nothing I can do but pray. I said aloud "if all I can do is pray, then please help me find the words.." something along those lines and in an instant, my mind was calm, I was able to take a long, deep breath and I prayed. My mom called it a God Breath, which I kinda like. I was able to clear my mind and put my heartfelt prayers out there for all those people and thanking God for those who stepped up and assisted during this disaster, which the Red Cross tagged 'level 1.' "All hands on deck."

I do not personally know anyone involved, but I know people that know people who were injured. The incident is just something that's on my mind and I'm really feeling those lyrics from one of my favorite songs, Hosanna, "break my heart for what breaks yours."I'm distraught about what happened, but this incident has actually helped me grow even deeper into my faith. I've found some scriptures that relate.

1 Peter 3:18, For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

And some really great quotes:

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

When lives are bogged down with defeat and despair, only the hope that comes through a relationship with our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ can bring about true happiness. God's Word testifies to His ability to carry us through the difficult times.

Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid of them! For the Lord your God will be with you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31: 6

All who are oppressed may come to Him. He is a refuge for them in their times of trouble. All those who know your mercy, Lord, will count on you for help. For you have never yet forsaken those who trust in you. Psalm 9: 9-10

If anyone out there is reading this, please take a few moments and pray for this incident. Thank you.

Ding..Ding...Ding...The Avon Lady!

Anyone out there struggling with work? Unfortunately, I am. I've been praying for a long time about my job. It seems to me that each time I pray about this, something new at work happens---something good! I recently told God exactly what I needed, guidance in my current job. The next day I was blindsided. I got a promotion! Not a very big one, but nonetheless, a promotion. Praise God for answering my prayers, I asked and he provided.

He has answered my prayer, but I'm still struggling with work. I'm hoping this is normal, but it's a very difficult struggle. A lot happens throughout my day and each day I get very aggravated and stressed out about what happens. I get yelled at A LOT each day and put down by certain individuals. I feel bad that I've prayed and God has provided, but I'm struggling with staying in my current job because it's having a huge impact on my emotional and personal well-being. I don't want to disrespect or question God's plan at all, but I'm really struggling with work.

I recently found a masters program that I really would like to enroll in. AU has a masters in Christian Ministry with an emphasis in worship studies, ding..ding..ding....the Avon Lady!!! Something like this couldn't be more perfect for someone like me!

However, it is an additional expense. I would love to go to school full-time and work part time at my church, but what about that huge amount of student loan debt?

I'm praying about it and I know God will direct me where I'm supposed to go, he will always provide.

If there are any readers out there and if you wouldn't mind, please pray for my current work situation and whether or not I should return to school. Many thanks and blessings!

Currently listening to & hooked on: "King of Glory" by Chris Tomlin

God's Love Letters to You

Dr. Larry Crabb does not disappoint in his book titled ‘God’s Love Letters to You.’ Admittedly, I did not read this book over forty days. I read the book in a couple of days, I couldn’t help myself! The scriptures and teachings are so powerful! I jotted down several inspirational lines from this book, but here are some of the most beautiful ones:

“God says: You want me to solve your problems, but you don’t know what your worse problem is, the one responsible for all the others. You don’t yet realize that distance from Me is the most lethal problem you have. When the first thing (namely Me) is in first place in your life, every second thing will be taken care of.”

“If I exist, if I am good, if My story is loving and my plan is on course, My spirit will speak into the deep place in your heart that only terrifying doubt renders accessible. And in that place I will anchor you in hope.”

Wow! This brought so much light to my eyes. As individuals and as a whole, we need to realize that God should be our first love, all other things come after that. This book highlights many of those important points that we all need to be reminded of everyone once in awhile. You will not be disappointed!

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”